December 31, 1009

And That’s the Way it Was, 2009

No Virginia, 2010 is not the beginning of a new decade. Contrary to popular belief, 2011 is the beginning of the new decade. It’s really quite simple. “Deca” means ten; you start with the number one, and count accordingly. Just as 2000 was not the beginning of a new millennium, 2001 was, as you start with the number one, not zero, as zero is not a number. Got it?

When I started writing this blog earlier this year, I did so for several selfish reasons. Primarily to have some creative outlet to voice my opinion in hopefully some cogent manner on any subject that happened to catch my attention. The second was to spawn someone to think about something in a different light (or think about it at all!)

This year was full of change, and a polarization of politics that has not been seen since Abraham Lincoln was sworn into office in 1861.

I’ll be brief as the political pontiffs on both sides of the fence have beat this one and watched it bleed to their own amusement. Simply put; shame on both parties for branding to their own self interests instead of the best interest of the American people.

The media frenzy that has followed has been nothing less than deplorable, and their unrelenting attention to events that had absolutely no influence on the world as we know it has been nothing less than remarkable for the distraction that it caused away from the true issues that the media need to focus on.

But let’s face it, we don’t want to hear that the planet is going to hell in a hand basket, we’d rather be distracted by what drugs Michael Jackson was taking when he died, that’s real journalism in it purest form, right. That’s Pulitzer Prize reporting at its finest! Less we forget about President Obama having received the Nobel peace prize. Some peace we have! I don’t even have peace of mind!

I’m sorry, President Bush learned nothing from the war in Iraq, other than to make all of his closest friends extremely wealthy. Did you know that food service to our troops is no longer a duty of “KP”, it’s out sourced to private firms. Big business when you’re serving 3 square meals to thousands of American troupes every day; do the math! And that’s just the tip of the preverbal iceberg. Where’s Molly Brown when you need her?

And now we’re involved in a war in Afghanistan/Pakistan against an allusive enemy that we’re not even sure who they are, yet alone where they are in a part of the world that is so inhospitable not even the people who live there want to. And are governed by one of the most corrupt political systems in the world (I guess we set a pretty good standard).

We’re spending BILLIONS of dollars to protect the “homeland” abroad. What if we spent those billions improving our schools, roads, power grids and investing in local economies, we’d have the infrastructure to defend ourselves from these “enemies” at home, where we should! I’ll say it “GET OUT OF IRAQ AND AFGHANISTAN NOW!”

And of course there was the financial bail outs. Started by the prior administration and carried on by the newly elected one, the plan has been to infuse money into small businesses.

Guess what, the banks aren’t lending money to small businesses. Surprise, surprise! God forbid they should aid a democratic half black, half white president succeed in their all white world!

Now you’re thinking, “oh, you can’t say that, that’s taboo!” It’s time we call a spade a spade!

Case in point; I am retained as a consultant for a small business, and they received a letter from their bank, a small enterprise that specializes in regional business banking, stating that they had received $140 million in government stimulus dollars to lend to their small business clients.

This is a no brainer. The business has a great credit history, as do the owners of the business, a corporation, the business has hard assets of over six million dollars so establishing a line of credit with the bank should be a slam dunk.

Think again. In 1996, one of the principals of the business was involved in another business (also a corporation) that filed for bankruptcy. Thirteen years ago, and guess what, the bank rejected a line of credit for $50,000 because of that.

So it’s business as usual and the money that has been given to banks to spur the economy as ended up in interest bearing accounts to the bank’s own interest. Never mind that 5 people could have been kept on the payroll for 3 months instead of being laid off and collecting unemployment, oh, which by the way cost the system more, and this small business more in unemployment taxes in the future.

Every cause has an effect, Aristotle was one to put it into some objective prospective, however, we have taken it to extremes.

“The horse is out of the barn, lock the barn”.

Yet again, when a would be terrorist tried to blow himself up on an airplane all of a sudden, AFTER the event, there’s “heightened” security at every U.S. airport. Never mind that this guy got on the plane in the Netherlands, not on U.S. soil. How could Homeland Security let something like this happen???

The last time I checked, the Netherlands wasn’t part of the U.S., it’s not a territory and I don’t believe that they’ve ever given any thought to joining the good ole U S of A. They’d have to give up their universal health care!

But in the news they did say that their information on terrorists was not as “robust” as that of the U.S. They probably don’t have innocent citizens in their database like we do.

But in the end, someone, a customs official or someone from the U.S. embassy had to take his passport, scan it, take a rubber stamp and issue a visa to this fellow for him to enter this fine country. They have the list, don’t they? Or, maybe not. In any case, the guy, who had explosives wrapped around his waist, got through airport security, with a visa and got on the plane. So now we are even more inconvenienced when flying than we were before (that I find really hard to believe!)

And speaking of visas, did you know that if you live in Latin or South America, you have to pay a $500 filing fee to apply for a visa (per person) to visit the U.S.? Now, that doesn’t mean you’ll get a visa, it could be denied and guess what, we keep the five-hundred bucks!

Airport security, or the TSA. Now I did a lot of traveling in ’06 and ’07. Went through the take off your shoes, belt, jacket, remove your laptop from its case and do the merry dance at the end to reassemble your things without the room to properly do it as your pants begin to slip down below your waist. In my travels I did notice one thing. Among the people working for the TSA there was a lack of racial diversity. And I’ll go as far as to say that the organization is ripe with nepotism, among other things.

What I found most disturbing, however, was a conversation I overheard while eating lunch one day, where a woman in the booth next to mine was confiding with a friend saying that her brother worked for the TSA and he could get her anything she wanted; a Rolex, digital camera, jewelry – you name it; for a price, of course.

Now these are people whom we are trusting with our safety, and our luggage, which, by law, has to remain unlocked, even though they run it through an x-ray machine that has enough gamma rays to wipe out a small city. On several occasions I found a card in my luggage left by the TSA saying that they had opened the bag to hand inspect it. Jockey shorts, socks, some folded shirts and a pair of shoes. Maybe they thought I had a bomb in the heals of my shoes. Can’t be to careful, can we!

Once I paid cash for my ticket. When I got to the security gate, they pulled me aside, placed me in a separate room, tested my baggage for chemical residue and had me strip down to my underwear. It wasn’t a pretty picture, I can tell you that! But I was obviously flagged as a person of suspicion because I didn’t use a credit card (and therefore traceable), even though I did have to present my drivers license.

This is madness in the highest degree! It takes longer to fly to San Francisco now because of all the crap you have to go through than to drive the five hours, and you don’t have to disrobe once!

So here we are, at the end of another year. Many people think this was worse than 2008, that the recession has been really bad. It is my belief that most folks in 2008 didn’t understand the severity of the recession and thought as soon as we got a new guy in office all would be well with the world. But in truth what people realized is that it’s going to take more than a new face in the White House for all to be back the way it was. It isn’t, it will probably not be, at least in my lifetime, like it was. We were all mesmerized by how much money we could borrow and spend, rather than the hard truth that at some point you have to pay the bill.

And no, Virginia, Santa Claus isn’t going to bail us out, it’s something we’re going to have to do on our own.

Happy New Year!

Jack's Rant November 1

Eureka!

Under the gaze of Minerva, the Roman goddess of wisdom, a miner works near the Sacramento River. A grizzly bear rests at her feet and ships ply the river. The Sierra Nevada mountains rise in the background. Wildlife, agriculture, natural beauty, commerce, and opportunity are all represented on California’s Great Seal.

The state motto, Eureka, sits over the mountains. A Greek word that means "I have found it," Eureka refers the discovery of gold in California. The miner, working with a pick, is another reference to the gold that was found in California. A pan and a rocker are also depicted on the seal near the miner. The pan was used to separate the gold from the dirt; just add water. The rocker is a larger and more sophisticated "pan." It allowed miners to process more dirt and sand faster. At the time the seal was designed, people were coming from all over the world looking to "strike it rich" in the gold fields.

Bureaucrats!

As usual, the French are responsible for coining the name “bureaucrat” – translated, desk official. Or more important, one who makes getting something processed more difficult in order to make their job more important.

As a side note, did you know that the term “red tape” came from the Veteran’s Administration after the Civil War, where their records were kept wrapped in red tape. Bureaucrats and red tape go hand in hand.

The state of California is full of these bureaucrats. The state government is riddled with them in more numbers than a local school district. People used to strike it rich discovering gold in our state, now they strike it rich working for the state government.

And as a citizen of the “richest” state in the union, I, like so many Californians have to question why we are the worst state in the union as far as school ratings, credit ratings (I don’t think I’m going to buy a water bond anytime soon) and billions of dollars in debt. At least that’s what we’re told by our wonderful govenator and the people who allegedly represent us in the state’s legislator body. There’s no end to the excuses that we have heard. But the simple truth is that we need to cut the fat where it needs to be cut. At the top!

Just like the rest of government, this state needs a complete overhaul, which, of course, we know, will not happen. But, as Voltaire said – “this is the best of the best of all possible of worlds” and anything is possible, if not highly unlikely!

Now the reason I am addressing this today is that last week we received a perfect example of how bureaucratic the state of California really is.

Every year S corporations are required by the state to file a “Statement of Information”. This form needs to be filed by the 15th of September along with a $25 check. As I had processed this form last year, I simply pulled up the one that I had filed from the previous year, changed the date from ’08 to ’09 and sent it on its merry way.

Last week the form, along with the check was returned with a note “The name of the corporation has to appear exactly as the state has it registered.” Now, mind you, they accepted the very same form last year, why are they returning it this year?

The state provided me with a copy of how they would accept the name and in comparing the two I had put a comma at the end of the company name before Inc. and a period after Inc, whereas the state had not.

So some state bureaucrat had to take the time to open our filing, review the form and determine that it did not match the one on file (God forbid you should have periods and commas in your name), fill out a form and an envelope, print them out, staple the check to our filing along with their form, stuff it in an envelope and spend 43 cents in postage so they could receive the filing exactly as they needed it. That whole exercise had to cost more than the $25 dollar filing fee!

What the heck is going on??? Clearly this is a prime example of a state government gone amuck, mired in bureaucratic nonsense so yet another non compos menace can keep their job.

And we wonder why the state is in such a mess. Eureka! It’s the bureaucrats!

Jack's Rant, October 11

“A dining experience, I shall not soon forget, unfortunately!”

Last Friday afternoon I found myself helping a friend get moved into his new digs in Garden Grove.

After a productive trip to Target, we decided to get some dinner, and as it happens there are several restruants across the street from where we were. There is a Joe’s Crab Shack, an Outback and a place called Buca di Beppo. It looked nice enough. There was a queue of people at the door; at least it’s popular. The neon sign above the entrance read “Immigrant Italian Dining”. It made me wonder, if I’m not an Italian immigrant, can I enter?

When we entered we were greeted by two seater-greeters and assured us that we’d have a table in no time.

As I sat in the entry waiting I noticed a full size cut out of Danny DeVito. That should have been the first clue that we should leave the place post haste! Also, I noticed that when people were being seated, they were led through the kitchen. The host had some pre-memorized spiel that I couldn’t quite understand.

When we were sat, I was disappointed that we were not led through the kitchen. I guess we didn’t look the type that would be interested in that type of thing.

The whole place was like a labyrinth of rooms, all gaudily decorated with tasteless kitsch, including colored Christmas lights strung around holographic pictures of the Pope. Was this some kind of joke that I’m not getting? It did remind me of the Spaghetti Factory in San Francisco of the early ‘70’s, maybe that was the vibe they were going for. "Far Out!"

Once seated, and viewing the menu, it occurred me that all the food was served “family style” and al a carte and it was expensive! But I thought, leftovers!

The menu that we ordered was a Caesar salad to start, garlic bread, fettuccini Alfredo, chicken Marsala and short ribs, at least that’s what it said on the menu.

A big crisp salad with the bread was promptly delivered and it was your formula Caesar, very favorable, as was the bread. Then came the chicken; three large breast with three large mushrooms that had be halved.

Now, I’ve ordered chicken Marsala a number of times from various eateries over the years and NEVER have I seen it served like this. The chicken was not halved and pounded to a quarter of an inch in thickness, nor were they tossed in flour prior to cooking. The mushrooms were sautéed in the sauce, such as they were. OK, they’re doing their own take on it… but wait, the sign in front said “Immigrant Italian Dining”. There was nothing immigrant or Italian about this dish. And then I tasted the sauce. If I’m not mistaken it was flavored with honey!!! Or very sweet sherry, not cooking sherry, as some recipes require. The chicken was not over cooked so with the pasta, it was eatable.

The short ribs were another story. It came out boned, two long stringy pieces of beef that had the consistency of a pot roast without the flavor, in a brown gravy peppered with tomato, onion, carrots and celery. All in all the meal was pretty bad with the exception of the salad and the pasta.

So I’m looking around the place and it’s packed and I’m thinking to myself, are these people’s taste buds so numbed by bad fast food that they think a place like this is good? Or have I just become a food snob.

And I think to myself, that clearly is the case, as the waiter brought the $89 bill. For that amount of money I believe I can be a bit of a snob expecting something more from a chain restaurant called Bucco di Beepo which translated literally means “Joe’s Hole”, I should have known!

Jack's Rant September 23

“I’m so tired…”

Such were the words from Madeline Kahn doing her best Marlene Dietrich imitation in Mel Brook’s “Blazing Saddles”, and I’m very much feeling that way, tired. I realize that I haven’t posted anything on my blog in over a month, I don’t have an excuse, I’m just tired! And that the subject matter has always been me voicing an opinion on some subject or giving some sage insight on something in the news. But not today.

Today is about me. I’m not an unhappy person as a rule, and generally don’t let things get under my skin. No sense in that. And in that regard, keeping a diary, or the modern day blog, like Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex and the City” for all to read has never much appealed to me. Keep it private. Also, despite what I may say, my life really isn’t that exciting. My work could be construed as interesting, some even might venture to say, glamorous. But in the end, it’s a job, with a 140 mile commute every day. So driving consumes between 3 to 4 hours of my day. That’s far from glamorous, it’s more like arduous, truth be told and it tires me out. I listen to NPR, that becomes tiresome at times.

We do work on some interesting things. But, anyone who’s ever been associated with the making of a feature film knows that the actual shooting of a film versus the post production of a film, it’s the post that takes the time. In that regard, the work we do here is not seen for 6 months to a year after we complete our magic, so, me talking about what we are working on won’t be seen for some time, and it’s not like you can run out and see it the next week. Also, I walk a thin line as to divulging what we’re working on as the studios want to keep everything under wraps and control the press on their projects. In that regard, we sign non-disclosures that don’t even allow us to show any of the work we do unless it is approved in advance by the studios. That's tiresome.

“Zombieland” is due out on October second, we did all the makeup effects and carnage on that one. We seldom get a sneak preview of anything we work on. We weren't even invited to the premiere. Like the rest of you, we have to buy a ticket. Or, in my case, wait until in comes out on DVD or watch it on HBO. “Zombieland” is a horror/comedy – and from what I HAVE seen, not something I’m going to run out and buy a ticket to see, but for all of you who do like that kind of thing, it should be a screem!

Another thing I’m tired of is having to deal with, what I refer to as the “family dynamic”. Briefly this means that any time I have something that needs done around the house, the job has to be given to one of the family members who may or may not get around to do it. For 4 months now I’ve asked that the wardrobe boxes that sit on the deck be disposed off – I’ve even paid money to have them removed. But they still sit there, gathering dust, and at some point will get rained on.

This spring I hired my nephew to remove the prickly cucumber vines from the yard, as they are a huge nuisance and look very unsightly. He did a great job, not one of them has come back. He pruned some of the trees in the process left all the cut branches in neat piles, and some 5 months later have become the favorite resting spot for spiders and other critters, despite my request, and to pay more money, to have them removed. It’s all very tiring.

I’m sure that you’ve grown tired of hearing my petty gripes so I guess I’ll just “retire” from this for now.

Jack's Rant, August 9

"Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the postmen from their appointed rounds.” – Unofficial motto of the US Postal Service

The actual saying is "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these courageous couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds". This was said about 2500 years ago by the Greek historian, Herodotus. He said this adage during the war between the Greeks and Persians about 500 B.C. in reference to the Persian mounted postal couriers whom he observed and held in high esteem.

Back in 1897 it was the idea of Michaell Kindal, who was one of the architects of the federal post office in New York city to engrave this saying around the top of the building, and the saying kind of stuck.

Today the USPS is a former shadow of what it was 50 years ago, when it was the only way to write to someone other than sending a telegram.

I remember, as a child, back in the dark ages, during the Christmas holiday, that we’d have two mail deliveries a day to accommodate the huge volumes of greeting cards and packages that swamped the service every year.

It was somewhat of a competition as to who would receive the most cards. As I recall, every year we’d send out hundreds of cards, most of which were people whom my father worked with, that were starred on a mimeographed employee list. In return we’d also receive back hundreds of cards that covered every unadorned space in our living room.

Today I seldom receive three or four. Even one friend who’d write a Holiday letter enclosed in her card didn’t send one last year. She admitted to me that she’d been doing it for over 40 years and felt that was enough.

Much to the chagrin of the USPS many others have followed suit as last year they had nine billion less pieces of mail than the year before. That’s about a four percent decrease. And they project a six billion dollar deficit this year. That’s a lot of forty-two cent stamps.

The decline of people using the postal service is obvious, but I’ll say it anyway. We use our email to send notes and birthday greetings, and any other thing we can think up, rather than using snail mail. I personally have an AOL address, Yahoo address and a gmail address, plus I can be reached through my Facebook page or you can even leave a note on this blog, for everyone to see.

In the late 1990’s someone at the post office came up with the bright idea that everyone should pay five cents to them (the USPS) every time we sent an email. Hey, I’m not making this up! And we wonder why the postal system is in such trouble with people like that in high places coming up with half baked schemes like that to save the USPS.

Clearly since the advent of email and the ability to pay bills online, there’s just less and less reasons to put a stamp on an envelope. And alas, we’ll soon not be able to use the old adage that “the check is in the mail"!

Jack's Rant July 28

Walter Cronkite

November 4, 1916 – July 17, 2009

Walter Cronkite passed away last week, he was 92. I grew up with Cronkite, he was the one who told me President Kennedy had been shot, that a man had walked on the moon, he reported from Viet Nam on the war there and he updated us on the Watergate scandal that was the down fall of Richard Nixon. The iconic news reporter; fair, honest news reporting, giving the facts and staying away from the sensational news that dominates today’s “news” reporters. If a story was breaking, it was Cronkite who threw himself in front of the camera, jacketless, his tie askew and his shirt sleeves rolled out.

I had the opportunity to meet Cronkite once, right after he retired from CBS, in the fall of 1981. He was speaking at some gala affair in Portland, Oregon where I lived at the time. They held a private party for a few guests to meet the man in person before the event, and somehow I managed to wrangle an invitation to this meet and greet.

The day arrived, and I showed my very official looking invite at the door, where several people guarded the entrance. After careful examination of the card, one of the doormen opened the heavy oak door that led to a private salon at Portland’s finest hotel and allowed me to enter.

And there he was, in the flesh, available for anyone to walk up and say “Hi” which of course I did. For some reason, I expected a bigger man. He always looked bigger on TV. I reckon when you sit behind a news desk, the viewer really doesn’t have any reference as to how tall you might be. But he stood about five feet seven or so. I introduced myself, and shook his hand, and gushed at how honored I was to meet him, and how I had grown up with his news. I guess I sounded pretty stupid, but he took the time to ask me what I was doing in Portland, and did I like it here. HE, engaged ME in a conversation. I was truly amazed at how witty and cleaver of a person he was, as we chatted about the joys of living in the northwest.

When Cronkite left CBS on March 6, 1981 he left a huge shoes to fill, which I have to say Dan Rathers did very well, but, there can only ever be one Cronkite. And I don’t believe that we’ll ever see that level of reporting again. You only have to turn on any national news program to realize that; when the lead story is again about Michael Jackson’s death. There’s something very wrong about the “news media” today. But that’s a whole other rant!

And that’s the way it was!

Jack's Rant, July 11

Coming to a Theatre Near You, Eventually…

Since the advent of sound and large screen formats, your local Cineplex has not had to consider upgrading its projection systems for some time. Even with the invention of THX and Dolby surround sound, those systems were a retrofit to the existing projection systems. Theatre projection systems of course use film that is projected through a gate, one frame at a time and fools the eye into thinking that it is moving. But you already knew that.

Typically, a feature is fit onto five or six reels of film that are then, in most cases, spliced together to make one piece of film stored on a horizontal platter where it is projected in its entirety. This cuts down on labor for the exhibitor as it does not require someone in the projection booth at all times, nor does it require two projectors, where, when one reel is nearing the end, the projectionist, on the correct cue, starts the second projector, and turns off the first, then loads the third reel, on the first projector, and so on.

Theatre projection systems are relatively inexpensive, and you can always find parts and bulbs available for them if there is a problem. Additionally, most theatres have paid off their projectors, having amortized the cost over a period of years, making the projection of film fairly inexpensive for the exhibitor.

But not so to the distributor. A six reel print of a film costs the distributor over $2,000 per copy. Now if you want to have a major release of your film to 3,000 theatres across the country, your costs of prints, alone, will run $600,000 plus shipping to and from the theatre and handling. And these reels, that are shipped in bulky metal shipping containers, are heavy and difficult to handle. So, at the end of the day, prints, shipping and handling could easily run over a million dollars for a single release.

And, unfortunately for the distributor, those single platter projection systems are very hard on film and have a tendency to once in a while eat a film instead of projecting it, where by rendering it useless and the distributor is required to FedEx out another set.

Enter digital cinema projection. Digital cinema projection requires no film at all, and pending on the compression rate, can be stored on 55 to 100 gigs of storage.

The process of projecting film digitally has been around for over 10 years. Distributors look at it as an easy solution to solve their distribution problems, as a film can be downloaded over a fiber optic cable or off of a satellite whereby eliminating the need to shuttle heavy film cans to the theatre for release of your favorite block buster. And, the picture is clearer, more stable as it does not have gate flutter that projected film has, and it never scratches, tears or gets damaged in any way. Also, the contrast ratio among colors, hue and contrast is better. That’s the good news. The bad news is that unless you were to project the two side by side you’ll likely not know you were watching a movie projected digitally or on film.

The first film to be released for digital projection was “Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace” in June of 1999. Being the technocrat that I am, I of course, had to attend the very first digital screening of the film at the Burbank AMC. I even have a badge that they gave out, commemorating the event. The major difference that I noticed was that the star fields in the background were crisp and clean.

As Lucas had produced much of the film digitally (not using film at all) to begin with, this clearly marked the threshold of a new way to make, and distribute films.

Everyone jumped on the digital projection wagon. Texas Instruments (remember them, they manufactured the first digital calculator in the ‘70’s) is a leading manufacture of the projectors, and Sony now has both a 2K and 4K digital projector on the market. Eastman Kodak, seeing the writing on the wall, in 2001 invested millions of dollars in the idea and came up with an elaborate digital distribution and projection system that they clearly thought could jam down the throats of exhibitors. Think again.

Although the digital distribution and projection system gives the movie watcher a better viewing experience, and it’s a huge cost saving for the distributor, installation of a digital projection system costs about $150,000 per theatre. YIKES! And there in is the basic problem. Exhibitors are unwilling to pay for the upgraded equipment and distributors have not been able to stay in the same room long enough to pool their resources and equip the theatres with the digital cinema projectors, whereby saving them millions every year in film copies.

Enter 3D

Remember 3D films? Previously, 3D using 35mm film was a tedious process to project and you were limited to wearing those odd-looking red and blue 3D glasses. Today's 3D digital cinema systems still use glasses, but they are mostly clear and are capable of delivering a better 3D experience than the red-blue anaglyph process. There’s just one hook. The 3D has to be projected digitally. So, in order to experience the total movie going experience to see “Monster’s Vs. Aliens”, “Up” or “Ice Age 3, the Dawn of the Dinosaurs” in 3D your local Cineplex has to invest in digital cinema projection.
And finally, as more and more animated films are being released in 3D, exhibitors are begrudgingly upgrading to digital cinema projection to accommodate this new hybrid of movie exhibition.
I couldn’t believe my eyes when I visited the local Cineplex here in Podunk Lake Elsinore, on the marquee, in big black letters it read “3D DIGITAL PROJECTION COMING SOON!” And it isn’t soon enough!

Jack's Rant July 9

Michael Jackson, Michael Jackson

Of all the favorite celebrities that the pulp press enjoyed, Michael Jackson had to be at the top of the list. His quirky lifestyle was by far the best fodder for the sensational weekly rags sold at your local supermarket checkout. And the best part of it was, is that most of it they didn’t even have to make up.

From his constant obsession with plastic surgery to his Montecello estate, Neverland, these were the things that gave headlines to numb the senses while waiting in line to buy your weekly food supply.

And then the unthinkable happened. Michael Jackson, at the ripe old age of 50 years, died on June 26. Never in my life have I seen the media go into such a feeding frenzy. This, according to any media you care to choose, is an event of biblical proportion. Not since Moses parted the Red Sea has an event received such notoriety or coverage. I don't believe that Princess Dia or the assassination of John F. Kennedy got so much coverage. I'm surprised they didn't close the banks and have a national day of mourning!

Even NPR, who I consider to be the bastion of intellectual news reporting, every 15 minutes gave updates about Jackson’s demise, to the extent that angry listeners, such as myself, emailed complaints to them. And it seems that this is all that’s peppered the news ever since.

Never mind that we’re at war in Afghanistan, Cher is giving a phone interview to Larry King about the Pop legend, showing dated ’70’s footage of Jackson and she singing together in sequined bell bottomed jump suits ; let’s not talk about the uprising in western China, Rev. Jessie Jackson has an interview on ABC news on the subject; and who cares that there is a G-8 Summit in Italy to talk about global warming when there’s an exclusive interview with Jackson’s dermatologist on CBS news.

And, the one reporter whom I felt would not venture into the murky water of Jackson’s death, Anderson Cooper, has devoted not one, but now three programs on this subject. Shame on you Anderson, and shame on the national media seeing an opportunity to gain a few rating points reporting on this tawdry event.

Yes, Michael Jackson was a great performer, he had a wonderful stage presence and put on a fantastic show. Yes, he sold the most records ever, and yes he is a pop icon of the highest degree. However, in the larger scheme of things, he is just that, an entertainer, plain and simple. There will be no mention of him in the history books, and other than an occasional tribute that some aging pop singer will perform to make a few more bucks, that’s all she wrote.

His fame took him to the strangest of places with the most bazaar behavior, rivaling that of Howard Hughes (well, maybe not quite that strange), obsessed with becoming white, and with a distorted view of what morality was, case in point his unnatural attention toward young boys and having enough money to buy his way out of any situation.

I am tired of all of this, it is time for Michael Jackson to rest in peace and it’s time for the media to put the story to bed and move on to something that is really news worthy.

Jack's Rant, July Fourth

Oh, Say Can You See…

“…that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the state of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and independent states, they have full power to levy war, conclude peace, contract alliances, establish commerce, and to do all other acts and things which independent states may of right do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.”

Thus ended the Declaration of Independence penned by a then 33 year old Thomas Jefferson, and gave birth to a new nation, conceived in liberty and justice for all.

Independence Day, or more commonly referred to as The 4th of July, has been celebrated almost ever since – I say almost, as it wasn’t until after the war of 1812 when the U.S. became irritated that the British had not withdrawn their troops along the Great Lakes and fought the British again, that is was celebrated outside of Philadelphia.

It was during that 3 year war that Francis Scott Key wrote “Defence of Fort McHenry” in 1814, not during the Revolutionary war, whose first eight stanzas, renamed “The Star Spangled Banner” became our national anthem, passed by congress in 1931.

Although I have found no evidence to support this hypnosis, it could very well be that “And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air, Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there” might well have given birth the use of fireworks on this national holiday.

The 4th of July held special importance in our family. My father’s birthday was on July 5th, so the two celebrations became one. It was a day filled with friends, food and fireworks.

We had a large peach tree in our backyard and they ripened this time of year. My mother always made home made peach ice cream. I think it was actually dreamed up to keep us kids out of her hair as the task of cranking the ice cream maker was delegated to us. In any case, it was the best ice cream I ever had.

No 4th was complete without our own fireworks. Now banned from most cities in California, it was part of a national tradition to light your own. We would buy a pre-assembled box of fireworks just for the occasion and I would use my own hard earned allowance (someone had to mow the lawn) to buy more sparklers. All I recall is that we’d set off an array of pinwheels, roman candles and other fireworks that for a brief moment lit up the backyard.

Today, we plan a barbeque. No peach ice cream and no personal fireworks, at least I didn’t think so. When I went to turn on the drip system in the yard this morning I noticed something remarkable. The aloe cactus chose to bloom today, sending up spikes of bright orange red flowers looking like sparklers.

It has brightened my day, and put a smile on my face. And something else: despite what political views you may have, or feelings toward our current government, we are still the freest people on this planet. Blessing to you all, and a Happy Independence Day!

Jack's Rant June 28

You Can’t Do It, We Can’t Help

In 1977 – 1978 my parents built a home in Lake Elsinore. This house was build some 30 years ago to be the place where my parents retired. Retiring it is. My father had a thing for wood. And every square inch that could be paneled, stained or shuttered was. After he passed away in 2004 I moved my things from storage, then in Van Nuys, to my father’s home until I could figure out what to do with my life.

In 2005 I moved all of my things into storage again and there they sat until I relocated to Houston in 2006 where I lived for a year. With promise of a new career in Salt Lake City with a new non-profit cable broadcaster, I again packed my things up and put them in storage, in January of 2007.

When I arrived in Salt Lake I discovered, after being there for three weeks, that things were not going as planned and the funding they were hoping for fell through, but I was assured that it would be in place, likely before May.

Okay. What do I do until then.

The house in Lake Elsinore had been on the market for a while, and it had been reduced in price by $150,000 without much action. As you can tell from the “before” photos, it would take a very particular type of person to want to buy this property.

I thought, oh, I’ll just go stay at the house in Lake Elsinore until the job in Salt Lake comes through. Good idea. Free rent.

However, what I failed to realize is that the house was staged, and it didn’t have cable TV, a phone or internet connection – in fact, it didn’t even have a TV yet alone dishes.

Well, May came and went and still no news from Salt Lake so I thought I’d better find something to do with my life. Clearly thinking that I’d find something in L.A. and move back there, I thus began my job search.

And I did. Find a job, that is. But what I didn’t realize is Lake Elsinore is like the Bermuda Triangle, once you’re here, you can’t leave.

In January of this year I became resolved that it looked like I’d be in the house until property values improved, and, tired of paying the $250 a month for my things in storage in Houston, resolved to take it out of storage, and move it to Lake Elsinore.

I had bought all new living room furniture and den furniture when I moved to Houston, and I realized that it was not going to go with the style of the wood paneled walls. As I reviewed in one of my earlier blogs, covering the paneling was more of a task than I had realized it was going to be.

Knowing that my things were going to be delivered on or about April 15, I set upon a quest to redo the living – dining room in February, thinking I’d have it finished before the furniture arrived.

No such luck.

So, long story short, a task that I thought was going to take a couple of weeks to accomplish, ended up taking almost 4 months, with the final boxes being put away or unpacked last Sunday, June 21st.

So, there you have it! My next project is going to be the landscaping, but I think I’ll have my head examined before I begin that one!

Jack's Rant June 2

"Let them eat brioche..."

When Marie Antoinette heard that the peasants of France had no bread to eat, she is quoted as saying "qu'ils mangent de la brioche." Brioche being a very rich bread made with egg and butter, certainly something that a peasant in the field could not afford. But as most of us don’t know what brioche is, other than Julia Childe and a whole country of Frenchmen, someone misquoted her as saying “let them eat cake”. It doesn’t really matter, it became a banner that helped spawn the French revolution and that poor little Marie paid with her head for saying it.

It’s amazing how a single phrase or quote denotes a political figure. Think of George Washington and we get “I can never tell a lie”. Think of Harry Truman and you recall “The buck stops here”. Richard Nixon had a couple, he was a regular word smith, but my personal favorite is “I am not a crook!”

Our mass media is obsessed with finding the perfect sound bite. Every time a new person enters the lime light of the political arena they are open game for the hungry mud slingers, either from the republican or the democratic side of the fence to start digging into someone’s past, searching for some forgotten nugget from some erstwhile speech, interview or article published in some obscure newsletter bythe local PTA.

Taken out of context, edited without regard for what the true meaning was, and blown out of proportion to the extent that the fallout stays in the news for days, even weeks. And the Rush Limbauch’s of the world dance in merry circles rejoicing that they have another day’s fodder for the uninformed masses that hang on their every word.

Last week President Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor to fill the soon to be vacant seat on the Supreme Court. No sooner than her name hit the wires than the conservative press unleashed its gaggle of fact finders like the wicked witch of the west sending out her flying monkeys to capture some gem of unspeakable dirt on the Justice to be.

And this is what they dug up: During a speech at the University of California at Berkeley, in 2001 Sotomayor said, "I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life."

That’s it? That’s their best shot??? How many hundreds of hours of video and audio tapes did they have to screen to find that? How many of thousands of pages of legal opinions did they have to comb. In her entire career as a federal judge, that’s all they could come up with?

And guess what, she’s right. The Supreme Court is filled with white men (and one woman) who have lived lives of privilege, likely never having seen the inside of a thee bedroom apartment in the lower east side of the Bronx, yet alone lived in one.

Here is a woman, born in a lower middle class neighborhood in the Bronx raised by a single parent, who by all accounts had absolutely no chance to do anything with her life other than get married, raise children and go to church. But somehow she didn’t know that. She believed in the American Dream where all people are created equal and have an equal chance to succeed. And guess what, in 1972, she made a huge leap toPrinceton University, an Ivy League school that had only started accepting women undergraduates in 1969.

She aced the place, graduating summa cum laude and went on to go to Yale Law School, where she was an editor of a law journal. She moved on from there to work as a trial lawyer in the Manhattan district attorney's office, as an attorney in private practice and then as a federal judge.

Never mind that she is Latina, anyone, white, black, purple or green who accomplished that is enough to make your eyes tear over and weep in sheer joy that the system actually worked!
Her record is stellar, her judgments remarkable and her impartial standings are not only well documented but well known.

And to all those conservative white pundits who are in a thither that a Latina woman should speak her mind, I say this:

"qu'ils mangent de la corbeau” – roughly translated “Let them eat crow!”
Au reuoir!

Jack's Rant, June 1

Big Brother, You’re Watching Him!

The art of knowing who might want to buy or trade what has been a time honored tradition as long as anyone can document. Vendors setting up shop to sell specific goods and services fulfilled a need of supply and demand. Moreover, most vendors over time learned what a particular patron might want from them, and would cater to their needs.

There is nothing new at all about this concept. But in today’s global market place, the individual feels more and more left out and catering to an individual’s needs comes at a price that many feel they can’t afford. Oh sure, you ask for a catalog from Crate and Barrel and before you know it your mail box is full of more of the same from Pottery Barn to Z Gallery.

The art of knowing and targeting your market actually began with Sears and Roebucks in 1895 when it published it’s first catalog – a 532 page book filled with just about anything you could imagine, and a few you hadn’t. In just five short years this mail order business turned out to be one of the most successful, and copied businesses ever conceived.

Anytime you bought something from the catalog your request was received by a processing center that verified that you enclosed the right amount of money, that the item requested was indeed what you wanted and before it was forwarded to the distribution center to be sent out, your name and address was checked to see if you had bought something from Sears and Roebucks before. If you were a new customer, a mailing “dog tag” was created – a medal embossed plate with your name and address – that was run through a machine creating a mailing label for shipping to use. If you were an old customer, the clerk would pull your tag and make a label.

But, one other important thing occurred. Whenever you purchased something from Sears and Roebucks the tag was run several times over index cards with what was purchased and when. That was filed by category, and also with your master card, and sometimes cross referenced with other categories.

So, over time, if you were buying a fair amount of farm equipment from Sears, when they had a sale on farm equipment they’d pull the cards of everyone who had bought farm equipment and send it to the processing center to have mailing tags printed. A special catalog was created for just those customers.

By today’s standards, this was very labor intensive endeavor, but it was the grandfather of the modern target marketing techniques used today.

There are hundreds, if not thousands of database companies that can provide you with mailing, emailing, phone numbers of target markets, based on age, sex, income, area you live in and just about any other criteria you wish to filter the data by.

Most all of us have supermarket “Value Shopper” discount cards that we swipe to save on in store promotions, available only to those shoppers who are in the “in club”.

Any time the supermarket chain wants to look at buying trends by zip code, or any other criteria that you gave them when you filled out that card, all they have to do is type in a few parameters and guess what? They can look at what you bought over the last week, month year or more! Even if you don’t have a card, the computer logs exactly what was bought on any transaction, time of day, etc. and can easily see what folks bought for Memorial Day last year to make sure they’ve got a good stock on hand for this year.

Ever noticed how some markets of the same chain have a much better “upgraded” goods in some areas, but not in others? That’s area demographic target marketing. All major chains from Home Depot to Bed Bath and Beyond practice this very specific target stocking practice. Simply put, you won’t find a Kmart on Rodeo Drive in Beverly Hills!

But with the advent of the internet, and the ability to buy things “on line” this has changed the rules for marketing companies who, up until the early 1990’s thought they had the game pretty well nailed.

Recently I bought a historical account of John Brown’s life on line from Amizon.com. Now, I receive an email from them periodically announcing when they have another new biography that they think I might be interested in. That’s pretty basic stuff that Sears figured out along time ago. But the internet has become much more sophisticated than purchase profiling.

There are several online companies that sell profiled ads. In simple terms, they track what websites you visit. Let’s say you’re an avid gardener and you subscribe to several webzines on the subject. It stores that information, by your sign on name or your Internet Explorer access code married to a particular computer. Then anytime you do a search for something unrelated, let’s say you’re looking for concert tickets, and there are ad windows for other products on that site, and this profiling marketing company has bought advertising access to that sight, it places an ad for gardening equipment, fertilizer, or a local gardening suppler on that site for concert tickets, in the mere seconds that it takes to load the site. It knows what interests you, and where you live! I’m not making any of this up. This has proven to be a muli-million dollar industry in just a few short years, and it’s getting more sophisticated everyday.

Using this model, cable companies are now designing programs to deliver specific advertising to just you, based on what you watch, when you watch and how often you watch.

Within a year’s time, it is estimated, all major cable companies will be able to offer this service to local, regional and national advertisers who are looking to advertise just to their target audience. Watch the Food Channel, Home and Garden and Do It Yourself networks – we’ve got a do it yourselfer who likes to cook, and every time you turn the channel on any cable network that allows for regional cable companies to insert commercials, guess what, you’re going to see the same set of commercials set to your personal demographic profile.
And you didn’t think anyone cared. Think again.

Bon Appétit!

Jack's Rant, may 27

And the Mess Goes On!

Now, the reason I haven’t posted in the last few weeks is that since April 15 I have been dealing with unpacking all of my things that were in storage, shipped from Houston, Texas.

It all started well before that when I decided to cover the cheap wood paneling that my father installed when the house was built some 30 odd years ago. The plan was to cover the old paneling, rather than remove it, as the walls underneath the paneling were never finished and it would require ripping out the ¼” drywall, installing new drywall, having it mudded, taped, sanded and primed before anything could be done with it. Far too much work, and certainly something I wasn’t personally up for doing, considering new carpeting had already be laid.

I came up with several solutions. The first was to fabric the walls. A very effective way of covering eye sores without changing what’s underneath. So I went to Joanne’s Fabric and found 25 yards of a burlap type fabric (without the smell of burlap) thinking that I could cover the walls easily with it.

What I failed to consider was that the ceiling is open beamed and it would require tailoring the fabric around a multitude of various angles in order to get it to fit properly. And, if any of you have hung fabric on walls before, the understatement is that it’s a bitch to do in the first place.

Scrap that idea, returned the fabric.

There must be another solution I thought. Looking through the cathedral like vast caverns of Lowe’s Home Improvement, I stumbled on a wallpaper that is designed to cover just this type of paneling. It has a faux plaster finish, a perfect solution. Eureka! I felt like I had discovered the Dead Sea scrolls! Considering the amount of product that they have there, finding the scrolls was probably easier. And the guy at Lowe’s told me I could paint over this once it was hung.

Invigorated with a new sense of purpose, I purchased all that they had and headed home to once and for all cover the old paneling! And some fun it was. First, finding the seam match turned out to be quite the challenge, as there is only an embossed pattern, not a printed one, and as the walls are nine feet, as opposed to the standard eight, I was loosing a good 20 inches on every match. But that wasn’t the problem. The problem was that the paneling was not hung to match the wall studs, so where the paneling abutted each other, it was not attached on the edges, only the top and bottom. Over time, the paneling warped a little, which was pretty unnoticeable as there are black grooved edges that masked the problem. That is until you put a piece of wallpaper with a semi gloss finish and made every imperfection in the paneling stand out like a sore thumb!

Undaunted by this, I thought once I got the flat paint on this it wouldn’t be so noticeable.

But before I could even get to that stage, the moving company called and said that they were delivering my things a week early from the date that they had told me to begin with.

Now the delivery is a whole other story. As anyone who has known me for a while, I’ve moved a fair amount in my life, and those who have asked me to help them pack can attest that I am the consummate packer. Never in my 35 years of moving from one state to another has anything other than a piece of china, if that has been broken. Not so with this move, some boxes looked like it was the clean-up after a Greek wedding! But I won’t bore you with all the gruesome details. It was (is) the move from hell!

So, now I was faced with finishing up the papering and painting with my things in place. The wall that I needed to finish first was the one that I was placing my bookcase against, so I can unpack the books. No worries, a couple of hours. Max!

How-some-ever, once I went to paint the papered wall, it started to bubble and come loose from the wall. I thought that once the paint dried it would settle down. No such luck. It looked like something out of an old tenement building. Returning to my Mecca of home improvement where all things can be fixed, I searched once again for the solution. And there, of course, I found it. Bead board or b board or beader board as it’s sometimes called. Commonly used in wainscoting, it is the perfect solution for covering all the mistakes that now both my father and I have made in the living room and works with the character of the house. And, we are going to paint it before we put it up so minimum touchup will be required and all will be well with the world. I pity the poor sucker who buys this house and decides to tear down the b board, only to find wall papered wood paneling glued to unfinished wall board!

Do it yourself, please don’t try this at home!

Wish I had Written This

Actual “letter to the editor” from the February 5th edition of the Wichita Falls, Texas Times Record News

Dear IRS,

I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owned April 15, but all is not lost.

I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog license tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting license tax, fishing license tax, city, school and county property tax (up 33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal, state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle license registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can’t recall but I have run out of space and money.

When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is and honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangle, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Dashelle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.

P.S. I will make at least a partial payment as soon as I get my stimulus check.

Ed Barnett

Wichita Falls

Jack's Rant April 24

Be Afraid, Very Afraid

For the last month or so, I’ve had this uncanny feeling that something bad is going to happen. I sometimes go through this act of paranoia without with out ever doing anything about it, however, this time I find myself stocking up on things. Now, anyone who knows me and has opened my pantry realizes that I’m not one to have much on hand; a can of soup, a tin of tuna, a half a bag of rice and maybe some cous-cous. One roll of TP as a backup, well you get the picture. I like to shop every other day or so, picking up what I need for a couple of meals.

Lately when I go to the store I find myself loading up the cart. Five cans of tuna, two of Spam (and I don’t even like the stuff) six cans of soups, several different types of rice and potatoes mixes. And, not only that, but six rolls of TP and three of paper towels. I have been fighting off the urge to buy more than three gallons of water, but I have a feeling I’ll soon have a pile of water bottles sitting on the kitchen floor.

Every so often we’ll have a little earthquake and the local news will do their “what you need if the big one hits” segment. It always includes an earthquake preparedness kit. Now that sounds like a good idea. They suggest that you keep a pair of comfortable walking shoes and a warm jacket, protective head gear, water etc. in the trunk of your car in case you are driving when the big one hits so that you can walk somewhere, I guess somewhere other than your car. Following their advice, I have packed a pair of old comfortable Nike’s that look pretty beat up but are great for walking, a moth eaten woolen jacket and an old fedora that was my father’s along with a nap-sack full of stuff.

Then I started thinking, what if I’m in the car and an earthquake hits and I put on my old tennies, jacket and hat, strap on the backpack and hi tail it to the nearest house for refuge? I’d be arrested as a vagrant! Better rethink the wardrobe.

My father kept an earthquake kit in the middle of the yard – just sitting there among the fox tails and crab grass. I don’t think he ever thought to update it or even opened it to see if it was still okay. It must have been out there for ten years or more. When he passed away and we had the courage to open the thing up, it was like finding some ancient relic from King Tut’s tomb. Dried foods that had been ravaged by the native insects, water that evaporated from the summer heat – I guess it was the thought that counts!

But now I am afraid. I came up with this scenario like a plot for a Stephen King novel. The world economy is in a shambles, and getting out of this mess is going to be next to impossible unless the world population is reduced significantly. World war, to messy, to many assets loss, zero birth rate, not likely.

The fact of the matter is, people are living to damn long!

So, some neo-Nazi group decides to design a virus that kills off a whole lot of people. (I told you I’m paranoid.)

In today’s news:
MEXICO CITY (April 24) - A unique strain of swine flu is the suspected killer of dozens of people in Mexico, where authorities closed schools, museums, libraries and theaters in the capital on Friday to try to contain an outbreak that has spurred concerns of a global flu epidemic.

The worrisome new virus — which combines genetic material from pigs, birds and humans in a way researchers have not seen before — also sickened at least eight people in Texas and California, though there have been no deaths in the U.S.

EXCUSE ME??? It contains genetic material from PIGS, BIRDS and HUMANS???? And no one finds that odd, that it might have been genetically designed?

And who dies from this? People whose immune systems are compromised by bad diets, age or lack of built up antibodies.

Forget what I said in my rant "Air Tight Sanitary Package" – I’m getting out the Clorox, buying a face mask, wearing rubber gloves and not touching any grocery carts without wiping them down first when I do my next stock up of food!

Next up: Move from Hell!

Jack's Rant, Monday, April 20

“I Think Therefore I Am.” – Rene Descartes – Discourse on Method
It is my contention that the American English language is being dumbed down at an alarming rate. And the proof of this is quite apparent in listening to a news cast or any politician, including our new President.
The word that bothers me most is when the word “think” is used. It is used to the point of being epidemic. Didn’t anyone take Speech in school??? If they had, they would have quickly discovered that beginning any thought with the opening “I think” would get you rapped on the knuckles with a ruler!
I am not a seasoned orator, but I did take several “speech” classes in college (I believe they have some other euphemism for it now, like oral communications, or something like that.) And there are some general points for arguing your point of view.
If the information you are discussing is of an antidotal nature you might want to say “It is my belief that…” not “I think that…”. If the information is open to interpretation, you might want to say “As I understand it…”. If you’re speaking about hard evidence you should say, “As it was told to me…” or, “as the report said…”, not “ I think it said…”.
“It is my opinion…” works if you have an original thought – many people don’t particularly politicians. The word “consideration” works well if you’ve actually done that; “I have considered all the options”, not “I have thought about all the options.” Eliminate the prepositions above all, whenever possible.
And of course the cope out; “I’ll have to think about that…” rather than “Let me review the facts on that”.
Anyway, that’s all I have to think about this topic!
Cheers.

Jack's Rant Sunday April 12

Air Tight Sanitary Package.

Editors Note: It been said by one of my readers that I should rename this blog “Jack’s Weekly Rant” rather than its current title. Now it would appear that this would be a more appropriate title for my blog, as I have not posted anything for a week. That said, I have a very valid excuse. I’ve been working on my taxes, which is a daunting task, as my tax guy thinks I paid way too much taxes in 2006 – the only year I used Turbo Tax to pay my taxes. Take my advice, don’t use it. Now on to our regularly scheduled programming.

From Meredith Wilson’s “Music Man”:

“Who's gonna patronize a little bitty two by four kinda store anymore?Whaddaya talk, whaddaya talk.Where do you get it?Gone, goneGone with the hogshead cask and demijohn, gone with the sugar barrel, pickel barrel, milk pan, gone with the tub andthe pail and the fierce”

When I a kid we went to Knott’s Berry Farm, before Disneyland opened, it was a kind-of tourist attraction then with a couple of lame rides.

Back in 1935 Walter Knott perfected a way to grow boysenberries, a cross breed of a raspberry and a blackberry cultivated by a Mr. Rudolf Boysen. Walter set up a roadside stand on State Route 39 – then the only road between Los Angeles and Riverside to sell the berries, and as it turned out it people liked them a lot. His family restaurant and boysenberry pie business began to blossom and by 1940 there was always a huge line of people wanting to have some of his wife’s fried chicken followed by a nice slice of that tasty pie. To entertain his waiting guests, Walter assembled a western Ghost Town using real old western buildings moved from various sites to his Buena Park farm. The rest is history.

There was a general store there that was a recreation of what it would have looked like back in the 1880’s and I remember that there were pickle barrels, cracker barrels, large wheels of cheese and lots stuff hanging off the walls and can goods from that age. Even had a wooden Indian holding a bunch of cigars at the door.

Back in the eighteen-hundreds when you went to the general store a lot of stuff was served right out of the barrel. If you wanted a pickle you lifted the lid and fished one out. Needed some crackers, you grabbed a handful and put them in the woven basket that you brought with you. Other than canned goods, pretty much everything was sold out of the crates or barrels they came in.

No body seemed to mind if the peanut butter had turned a little stale, or that the pickles were a little ripe, or that you got a stomach ache once in a while from eating the stuff. It was just the way things were.

But this slowly began to change when in 1898 the National Biscuit Company merged with 114 bakeries across the country and came up with a way to package soda crackers in wax paper to “seal in the freshness”. No more need to buy those stale soda crackers out of the barrel at the general store anymore. Gone was the cracker barrel, and using NBC’s idea of buying up the competition and “modernizing” the way the goods were packaged and sold gave birth to the idea that you could buy individual packaged food goods.

This, followed by the discovery that there were nasty things called germs that could make you sick gave way to a whole new era of cleanliness in America. Advertising slogans such as “it comes in an air tight sanitary package”, or my favorite “never touched by human hands”, has given birth to a germ-a-phobic society that today has gone totally over the edge, if you ask my opinion.

It’s everywhere now. Fast food restaurants often have in eyes sight of their customers a special sink where their employees wash their hands with a special antibacterial soap.

Children’s toys have to be cleaned after every play date with Clorox to keep from spreading germs!

When I was young we played in the dirt, at some point I believe every child eats some. Getting exposed to germs builds up our immune system. Today everything has to be antiseptic to the point of absurdity.

You go to the super market now and they have a dispenser of anti-bacterial wipes to clean your cart with so you won’t pick up any germs from the person who used the cart before. Typhoid Mary best find a new line of work!

Now’s there is a commercial on TV that shows a woman wiping down her kitchen cabinets with a piece of raw chicken, while the announcer says “using your kitchen sponge to wipe down your countertops spreads germs…”. So what, using a piece of chicken is better? Who knew!

All life is remarkable. Amazingly it is designed to adapt and change to the world around it. When terrible plagues ravished the world, the human race became better from it as the one’s that survived developed an immunity to it. That’s how we are designed. But now we seemingly have a drug for everything that we haven’t managed to kill with a dose of antibacterial spray.

It makes you wonder; how did we manage to evolve as far as we have without living in an air tight sanitary package!

Jack's Rant Sunday April 5

Don’t Smoke it, Toke it!

In 1919 law makers thought it a good idea to ban the sale of all alcohol and passed the Volstead Act despite then President Wilson vetoing it. Now all this ill-conceived law did was make a lot of unscrupulous people very rich. The bootleggers, smugglers and bathtub gin makers had a great time selling their hooch to anyone who would buy it. And that turned out to be a lot of people. It wasn’t until after the crash of the stock market that congress realized that they needed a few stiff drinks and repealed the eighteenth amendment in 1933.

In 1970 congress passed a Controlled Substances Act to prevent all those “hippies” from getting high. Opiates, cocaine, uppers, downers, marijuana, hashish and anything else they could think of made it to the list. I’m surprised that aspirin isn’t on it! Since then it’s been updated to prevent “potential abuse” of newer, better drugs that appear in ads in magazines and television programs. Gotta keep those baseball players from taking steroids (never mind the governor of California!) And conversely, created a huge drug cartel in Mexico. (And a very nasty one at that.) Thank you Richard Nixon.

Now it’s clear that the Obama administration is not going to waste its time, or its money on chasing down people dispensing medical marijuana. And with so much news about the Mexican mafia and all the violence that could easily spill over into our country, the issue of legalizing the growing, selling and smoking of the cannabis sativa plant may not be that far off.

My personal opinion on this point is that rather than it become a federal mandate, that it will be delegated to the states to decide if they want to legalize it or not. A state could simply pass a law saying that anyone over the age of 18 or 21 could buy marijuana, just like they can alcohol or cigarettes and tax the hell out of it. Or, they could be more judicious and make it legal by prescription from your doctor, or any doctor you can find who’ll write you a script for it. Now that poses a different issue. Drugs are generally not taxed, so it wouldn’t be to the state’s interest to allow them sold that way unless they charge a dispensing license, similar to a bar or liquor store needing a liquor license to sell booze.

In either case, the sale of grass would likely end up being sold by drug companies or tobacco companies. RJ Reynolds has everything it needs to grow, harvest, dry, package and dispense them. Marijuana is considerably easier to grow than tobacco, grows faster and needs almost no pesticides (ever seen a stoned caterpillar, not a pretty picture.) And no need to add all those nasty additives that make you addicted to it. It pretty much does that on its own.

But the best part is… this offers a great opportunity for the Madison Avenue folks to dream up a whole new advertising campaign that heretofore has never been thought of!

Holly Smoke!

Imagine what a creative session might be like if a large drug company was dispensing the marijuana.

(Ala Stan Freeburg)

A large conference room with market survey charts don the walls. A large white board hangs at the end of the room with “medical marijuana, what do we call it?” written across the top. Bright young creative types ponder it as they sip on their pricey bottled water de jour. The senior VP in charge of creative stands at the board tossing a marker in the air and catching it.

“Okay now, any ideas? Anyone?”

“Well Cid, the way I see it is we need something that’s going to appeal to our key demographic, which is, ah, baby boomers?” offers one creative type.

Cid, “Nope.”

“Men 18 to 35?” offers another

Cid, “Nope.”

“Seniors?” questions another.

Cid, “Nope.”

“Then who????” queries a forth.

Cid, “Everyone! Young, old, men, women it doesn’t matter. Oh sure, we have to target people with cancer and glaucoma, but everyone’s going to figure out a way to buy this stuff, you can count on that! So, what do we call it?”

“Ah, what about ‘Stonex’, the slogan could read ‘Stonex, when your life needs a better high’.”

Cid, “Alrighty, let’s keep them coming.”

“What if we called it ‘Cannibest’ the trusted name in weed.”

Cid, “Not sure about that one…”

“Okay, I’ve got it! ‘Melloodreemx’, we see a girl with long hair and a bandana around her forehead, dressed in a tie-dye mumu running through a field of marijuana in slow motion, stopping only to smell the buds on the plants, and the announcer says ‘Melloodreemx, when you need an occasional mood elevated’.”

Cid, “That’s great, when can you have it ready!”

And let’s not forget the disclaimer text. “Melloodreemx is not for everyone, consult your doctor before smoking this or any other stoner medication. Melloodreemx should not be used if you are taking any other hallucinogenics. Side effects may include, raised libido, a serious case of the munchies and general sense of euphoria. If symptoms persist, take a nap.”

Far out, man!

Jack's Rant Monday March 30th

Is it Daata or Dadta?

Everything today is zeros and ones, at least that's the way the computer deals with it. Very few things in our lives are analog anymore. Analog is when you put a needle on a record and it played music. Digital is when you put a CD in a slot and it reads the 0s and 1s and figures out it's music and plays it.

It's actually a little disconcerting.

In the late 1800's (1898 to be exact) someone came up with the idea of recording sound on a flat disc, rather than a cone, as Edison first did. This allowed them to be easily molded and then re casted in vinyl plastic. In the mid 1920's everyone settled on a standard speed for the rotation of the record; 78.26 rotations per minute. Prior to that, you had to manually "dial in" the record by using a speed lever next to the turn table.

This set the standard for the recording industry for over 30 years, and in fact up until the early 1970's "78's" were still manufactured. Even when the much superior 33.3 rpm stereo records came out, where by requiring a much more sophisticated playing unit, most still had a setting to play the older technology.

Even after the use of magnetic tape to record with - a master cut on a disc and replicated was still the choice to archive what was on the tape.

Now tape is not even used at all. Everything is recorded directly into the computer on to a hard drive where it is mixed and exported in a digital format to any number of formats - which may or may not go to an "archival" medium.

This is not only true of music. It's true of what I write here, and countless other things that are in the digital domain, and exist there only. Photos, scanned documents, manuscripts, et al. All 0s and 1s.

One day the hard drive fails and just like that - ZAP - photos of Jimmy's fifth birthday are all gone!

Which leaves the question. How do you archive all this stuff in such a way that it's preserved.

Programs and operating systems are constantly being updated or replaced. You can't stick a 78 record in your CD drive to listen to it. Nor can you play an audio cassette. Not unless you have sitting on a shelf in your basement an old record player, and old 8 track player, and old cassette player, and old Betacam player, an old VHS player, and soon, who knows what else will be replaced by some bigger, better gadget whereby making all of this obsolete.

When the first PC's came out in the '80's, before Micosoft, there were no operating systems, just DOS. The word processing program I used was WordStar, spreadsheets Lotus 123. Backup was done on large floppy discs. A black CRT screen with gold characters was how you looked at your work.

Once MS Word came along it didn't know how to read the WordStar files, so I had to buy Lotus Amipro, which would read the old files (I had to buy a floppy drive as my new computer wouldn't read them, only diskettes). Once the files were in Amipro I could convert them to MS Word and the job was done. Kind of. Once a file was converted from WordStar to Amipro to MS Word for some reason spell check no longer functioned, and in order to reinstate that feature, I had to open a new file, copy and paste the old file into the new one.

Believe it or not, I still keep Amipro on my computer - although my computers no longer have diskette drives, I had to buy one (just as zip drives used to be the mode of storage.)

Now I have an external 80 gig storage drive and a 1 gig thumb drive to back stuff up.

But the point is, if you don't constantly update your operating system and software and your files as well you can't:

1. - Read your old stuff

2. - Open a file that someone else has sent you!

I have a box of my Grandfather's manuscripts. They were typed on a Smith Corona typewriter. And guess what, I don't need one of those to read his words. Just a good reading lamp and a nice glass of wine.

Cheers!

Jack's Rant Thursday, March 26

"Bloggers and Twitters and Facebooks, Oh My!" Part Dux

Yesterday I mentioned Aldous Huxley's novel Brave New World briefly, but didn't really get around to making the point as to why. The point is that in Huxley's idealistic novel in order for the general populous to have this wonderful society, they sacrifice, unknowingly, other rights that they don't discover until it's too late. And moreover the antithesis of their society develops outside of their realm. The ying and the yang.

We can draw countless other literary examples that use this plot structure, but I won't bore you with them. The simple point is that anytime we accept or bring into our scope a new piece of technology to make our lives simpler, we are really sacrificing some other part of our rights in order to do so.

I remember my very first real job. Our main contact with the outside world was the telephone, a land line with a rotary dial and a couple of blinking buttons on it to access another trunk. That was it. If we needed something in a rush, we called a runner. If we needed something sent to somewhere else, we used air mail.

There wasn't any other way to send or communicate something. No answering machines, no faxes, no pagers, except the office secretary who would shout out your name, nada. If you didn't get it in the mail, oh well, maybe tomorrow.

This gave us several things. First, we had to plan ahead and anticipate that the mail may not get there on time, so we always gave ourselves some wiggle room so if it didn't get there when we thought, it was no big deal. The check's in the mail.

Second, it gave us time to focus on other things and be in a proactive mode, not a reactive one.

Then one day a rep from FedEx showed up to the office, and the rest is history.

Every time a new piece of communication technology has entered our lives it has allowed others to be more intrusive on ours. Forgot to arrange for some photos to be taken - that's ok, I'll call in the morning and have them take some and email them for my 11 AM meeting. Reactive, not proactive.

And the list goes on.

When I was in college I took a class, Mass Communications in Modern Society. One of the required readings was The Medium is the Message an insightful book by Marshall McLuhan. In sum it discussed the relationship by which the medium influences how the message is perceived.

For example, if you read a story in the National Enquirer you might not believe it at all, where as if you had read the same story in The Washington Post you would probably take it to heart.

Now we have all these very personal ways people can report on events around them. How true are they? We don't have the staff of the Post fact checking any of this. Is much of this hearsay and innuendo?

I believe that one of the dangers that all these new communications present, is that we might take them as fact.

A police officer taking statements from witnesses of a crime scene might hear many variations of the facts, which one is the most honest? And I believe that the same is true of the bloggers and twitters and facebooks, OH MY!

My advice, take anything you read in one of these blogs with a grain or two of salt. Except for mine, of course. I fact check everything!

Check again on Saturday, for my next rant!

Jack's Rant Wednesday March 25

"Bloggers and Twitters and Facebooks, Oh My!"

In 1932 Aldous Huxley published Brave New World, his futuristic novel set in 2540 AD London. It's idea of the future may not be as far off as we might believe, listening to synthetic music, human embryos raised artificially and all the while the care free population indulging in sex. Of course there's a dark side to all of this, but this isn't a book report after all.

This is a narrative on how quickly we have adapted to "sharing" our lives with others, often anonymously for anyone to look at. (Case in point, this blog.) It would be rather like our great grandparents leaving their diaries on a park bench for anyone to read.

Life's journals used to be left to the discretion of the writer, or their heirs, as to who and when might read them. Diaries were often kept under lock and key hidden in some forgotten place to be shared with only the closest of friends.

Important letters were also a way to keep a journal of one's trek through life. My maternal grandfather ran away from home at the age of 16 to ride the rails, never to return again. But what he did do was to write to his parents of his experiences. Now, as it turns out, his father thought someone else might enjoy his travels and presented them to the local paper in Duluth. They published a great many of them providing a permeate record of his early life.

This in turn allowed him to later write a book based on those letters The Winds Will and is a wonderful family record for us to have of his early life experiences.

I imagine there is some gene in us that makes us want to preserve some part of our past in some way. It's always been an important part of all cultures.

And like an adolescent going through puberty with a bad attack of ache we have seen a plethora of these new sites where we can share pretty much anything we want, as often as we want. Even this one has an option for "adult" content!

There's Facebook, MySpace, YouTube, NetCafe, Blogs, Twitter, a ton of business networking sites and my personal favorite, "Bebo" (I'm not making this up), AOL's latest attempt to enter the din of countless personal logs.

And why in the world would anyone name a site "Twitter". Did they bother to look it up? It's an old English word actually, that means to be nervously excited. "She was all a twitter when her love entered the room." Now I ask you, how does that exactly correspond to noting your daily schedule in Twitter. Were you "in a twitter" when you read how your best friend got 15% off at Macy's one day sale? Or were you twittering around the computer awaiting the next installment of my blog? OK, I can accept the last one. But you see my point, and that is, between text mailing, emailing, blogging, twittering, business networking... it's all gotten way to much!

I guess I sound like an old guy sitting on the porch of the general store, sipping on a warm sarsaparilla seeing the first horseless carriage drive by, amazed at the new contraption, pets his dog on the head and says "Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore"!

Part two on this subject tomorrow (and you thought I was done with this!)